Finding Calm in the Chaos
I’ve gone from dropout to novice monk to mentor, and along the way made all the mistakes, drawn all the wrong conclusions and gone down all the spiritual rabbit holes you can imagine, only to find myself right back where I started.
Pursuing a spiritual path sounds exciting, but there’s no escaping yourself, your expectations and your self-imposed limitations. To get past them, you must first understand them as they play out. Only then will you know what to let go of and how to be free.
My real journey began when I stopped trying to be someone and decided instead to find myself.
It sounds simple enough, but it’s far from obvious. That’s why I’m here.
Cultivating Peace, Growth and Resilience.
Can you imagine being truly at ease with yourself, with no self-doubt or self-recrimination, trusting who you are, facing life and death with grace?
It’s possible. The tools you need to deal with it are already wired into your human brain—objectivity, mindfulness, equanimity, confidence, concentration, insight and compassion. You just have to exercise and strengthen them. Then you can think about uprooting the lifelong patterns that keep holding you back. It’s not complicated.
Trouble is, humans are. We’re smart and resourceful—addicted to accomplishment but averse to simplicity. The more we look outside ourselves for meaning and purpose, the more confused we get.
Does This Sound Like You?
You’re ruminating, going over old wounds again and again, wondering why you’re not getting anywhere. You’re stressed and anxious, never really at peace, and some relationships are particularly challenging.
It’s happening to you, but it’s not who you are. You don’t have to stay stuck. I will teach you to reduce stress and anxiety, improve focus and decision-making, enhance relationships and communication, modify behavioral patterns and cultivate emotional intelligence.
Mindfulness Live
We meet three times a week for a half-hour of mindful reflection. This time includes guided meditations and discourses on one topic per week. Recordings are made available within minutes.
I also offer one-on-one, as well as ongoing workshops and courses.
Commitment and Support
You enjoy meditation, love mindfulness and want to live life to the full, but making your practice a regular thing isn’t easy. It takes a certain kind of support.
Sharing time in silence with others, finding common perspectives on life, seeing our own fears and anxieties in others—all help us become more open to our true, imperfect selves. The Mindfulness Live group brings continuity and stability while the Inner Monk challenges you to stop, question everything, and make changes you never thought possible.
Feedback
We all need feedback—at the very least to know that we’re all in the same boat. While we’re spectacularly intelligent compared to any other species, insecurity and defensiveness can make us do spectacularly stupid things. That’s when we feel like our own worst enemy.
It’s also when we need self-compassion more than ever.
Your Teacher
Hi, I’m Stephen. Don’t mistake me for a guru. I have lots to offer, but I believe only you have the answers—they’re buried inside. I’ll help you dig down, find new perspectives and see what to be be mindful of. A million things happen every day. How much attention do you have?
I grew up with very little. The term “attention deficit” didn’t even exist back then. All I knew was that I had to control my mind or lose it. I was moody, awkward and angry, as everybody always reminded me. I didn’t belong—at least, that’s how I read it. All I knew was that something was wrong and it was up to me to fix it. I prayed that meditation and self-examination would change the way my mind worked.
This idea didn’t just pop out of nowhere. It took years to ripen, by which time I was about to complete my Bachelor’s degree. Still, the ripening came with a sense of urgency. Life is short! I dropped out, hitch-hiked to India and became a Buddhist Monk.
I trained with the last generation of lamas from Old Tibet. They were happy to share their wisdom, and I had the good fortune to study with Geshe Tamdrin Rabten—a debate tutor of the young Dalai Lama. Learning Tibetan introduced me to new ways of seeing and led me into a wonderful time of healing.
How I Teach
After eight years I was ready to teach—though not in the same way I’d been taught. Tibetan Buddhism is a set of practical tools, but also a religious belief system—and I’m not a believer. I work with evidence, and trial and error. What I learned from the Buddha is that all you need to believe in is your own ability to change. As the years pass my respect for him and his invention of mindfulness has only grown.
But mindfulness is only one fold of the Middle Way, also known as the Eightfold Path. The effectiveness of your practice depends also on your outlook, resolve, behavior and focus in life—the big picture.
Transition from Monasticism to Real Life
I became a family man, flourishing in the real world at last—as a typographer, designer, and illustrator. Far from being a distraction to my inner work this was the crucible in which it matured. I leaned on my training and scoured the scriptures in search of practical tools that I could repurpose for everyday use.
In 2003, my wife Caroline and I founded Quiet Mind Seminars. During the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic we created Mindfulness Live.
My ADD’s still there, but it no longer dominates me. In fact, I’ve learned to manage it, and some aspects work for me. We’ve established a rapport—a mutual respect. Sometimes I let it be. At other times, my training takes precedence.
How I teach
I keep things simple. No charts or lists, no scientific or Buddhist jargon. Lots of stories. My goal is not to fill you up with abstract ideas but to put practical skills to work and face what obstacles arise.
The key to all this is self-reliance. I don’t mean shutting yourself in, but avoiding group think, dropping wishful thinking and cultivating inner clarity. It means letting go of traditions, opinions, authorities, rationalizations, inferences, analogies and speculations. You’ll learn from your own first-hand experience.
It all comes down to this: when what you do causes harm, do it less; and when something does good, do it more. It’s not about what you believe but how you act.
I don’t advocate any system of belief. Institutions like Buddhism can create an impressive sense of security and certainty, but the Buddha himself would be the first to tear down your certainties and demand you face life’s uncertainties for yourself. Letting go of emotional baggage lays bare the extraordinariness of this brief, unique life and changes your attitude forever.
My job is to support and guide you as you get to work on that inner view of yourself. You’re the only one who can possibly know what’s really going on in there. Only you have the answers. I’m here to keep pointing you back inside. That’s my commitment.
Why Choose The Inner Monk?
I’m a bit different from other teachers. I have a thorough grounding in Buddhist practice, but no allegiance to any group or institution. I’m not a believer, but I still admire Gotama—the man who became Buddha—and still study his ideas.
The Eightfold Way
Mindfulness is only one fold of the Buddha’s Eightfold Way. We also cultivate compassion and empathy, cognitive training, ethical conduct, and a close examination of various mental factors, such as equanimity and discernment, empathy and detachment. When you start to see these states of mind in real time—while they’re actually happening—you’re on your way.
Take the First Step
Ready to embark on your mindfulness journey? Start with a free half-hour chat to explore how we can support your path to inner peace and personal growth.
Mindfulness really does your life. Let’s begin this journey together.
In addition to coaching people worldwide, Caroline is a volunteer life coach for Up With Women, a Canadian charity helping homeless and at-risk women, and gender diverse individuals, build a sustainable pathway out of poverty. She can be reached at www.courey.com.
Join Mindfulness Live
Mindfulness Live broadcasts on Zoom every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 12-noon ET for one half-hour of meditation and reflection. After the broadcast, registered subscribers receive an email with a link to the day’s recording.
The following form registers you on a monthly basis and draws the amount from your credit or debit card on the same day each month, starting in 14 days. You may cancel any time before then with no charge.
$49.95 CAD = approx. US$35, €33, £28, AU$56